Princess Tom Boy

Princess Tom Boy

I was raised to be a princess but to my salvation I had older brothers. So I am this strange mix of girly girl and tom boy. I know completely useless things like a lady never crosses her legs when the Bible is open, on the other hand I can throw a pretty good right hook. I know which fork to use for the salad, main course and dessert and what rifle to use for a duck, boar or deer. (Not that I would actually shoot one but I could) I believe in being in the trenches but in also having a good pair of work gloves to preserve my manicure. I could no more deny the princess side of me then I could the tom boy side of me.

James 2:14-17
14 What good is it, my brothers, if a man claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save him? 15 Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. 16 If one of you says to him, "Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed," but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it? 17 In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.


In the same way faith and works should be different sides to the same coin. We don’t earn our salvation by our works but good deeds should be a natural outpouring of the grace (unmerited favor) that is poured out on us.
When we love others we are spreading Christ’s love. We have to minister to the physical before we can reach the spiritual. Someone who is cold and hungry cannot grasp the love of a benevolent savior. Do you just tell people of Christ’s love or do you show them his love?


Mark 12:30-32 (New International Version)
30Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ 31The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these."
Father,
I thank you for all you have blessed me with. I pray that you will make me a good steward all you have given me. I pray that if there is a need in my community that I can fill you will show me. Please let me touch the lives of those around me in a very real way. In all I do I want your love to shine through. Make me a see through servant for you. In Christ name I pray!
Amen

you want me to do what?

If the world abuses me I am a match for that, I begin to like it. It may fire all its big guns at me; I will not return a solitary shot. [Ill] just store them up and grow rich upon the old iron.
Charles Spurgeon


I think my brain may explode; you may want to stand back at any moment you could be covered with blood, gray brain matter and other yucky stuff.

I have been doing a lot of praying, reading, crying, praying reading lately. It just seems like it takes so much to fill me back up I was going to say spiritually but truthfully spiritually, emotionally and every other way. I seem to have so many questions and so few answers. I keep searching and searching, it seems every answer leads to more questions. Life is a fight and is not easy. Okay I can handle that I have had to fight my entire life. I always assumed victory, if God be for us who can be against us. But the question I have been asking myself a lot lately, is have I quit fighting?

I threw my hands up in the air and shouted God what do you want from?

His answer was everything you got.

Who am I? What do I have? You want everything I got I have tears do you want my tears? I have a broken heart and a body that doesn’t quite work right. All that I am is crying out to you ANSWER ME! What do you want?

My child I want your willingness, I want your yes when I call.

God I really don’t know if I can do this one, I am so torn I don’t know what side to choose, I don’t know what he answer is? I need to know the answer God.

My child the answer has always been love. Love me and love my people.

God I do love you!

Then love my people!

But God that is what has my heart torn in 2. What if I am not capable of loving everyone?

Then let me love them through you.

That still involves me and my first instinct is to fight, when pushed to push back and push hard. Make sure they think twice before crossing me again. God I really need you to take this one.

Then let go.

God that is so hard, maybe I can fix it. I want to fix it.

It is not yours to fix but you can love and let me do the fixing.

But I am hurt I am jaded, can you have someone else do the love thing.

I choose you!

But

Love my people all my people.

Is my heart that big?

I made your heart I know what it can handle.

I guess I have to put my heart in your hands?

Yes,

But it is the only heart I have.

My child do you trust me?

Yes Lord, you know I trust you.

Then trust me with your heart.

All of it?

Yes all of it.

I don’t think you will like all of it.

Then let me change the parts I don’t like.

I am here and I surrender God, I surrender.

Remember my child remember how much ILOVE YOU AND REST IN MY LOVE.